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A week ago, our status changed to “married, with married children.” Our son and his bride exchanged vows on a
beach outside of Cancun. It was a
beautiful setting for a beautiful occasion – and our first ever destination
wedding. It was like having a week-long all
you can eat reception.
Being the father of the groom, this was also a stress-free
occasion for me, i.e. until my BBL inquired if I had thought about what my toast
to the couple would be. Well, I hadn't, and immediately set off to formulate what I might say.
I bought some internet time and started googling. I started out by searching for famous quotes
or observations about marriage. I liked
(and prudently discarded) some including:
- LBJ (a fellow Texan who became famous for lifting his dog by the ears), said “only two things are necessary to keep your wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way; second, let her have it!” And,
- “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them quicker.”
Feeling the World Wide Web wasn't helping me to be so wise, I
started thinking about a conversation held earlier with a friend of the newlyweds. She had inquired if my son has always been so competitive.
My first reaction was that he has not been competitive at all when
it came to the marriage game. After all,
we had spotted him two years of life over his sister and she still beat him to
the altar by 3 years!
Personally, I never thought my son had a competitive disposition
where he felt it necessary to win every contest. But I've seen where he does try to improve upon
his performance, like running further or faster to beat his personal “best.” Being competitive in that way is surely a good
thing.
However, when it comes to team sports, he strikes me more as
a raving maniac. He is passionate about
the teams he supports and is likely to (boisterously) offer running
commentary/criticism about how the game is being played. But it also seems to me that he knows the
rules and regulations of the sports he follows better than most spectators and
is usually first to recognize if actions on the field have violated them.
So it occurred to me that if he brings these traits:
- The desire to continually improve in the way he loves and respects his bride;
- Be a passionate, supportive raving fan of this new “team” in good times and bad;
- Knows, understands and plays by the rules of this “game,” then they will surely have a championship marriage!
So that became my toast, albeit delivered with some warble, because I was sucker punched by emotion.
P.S. If there’s any competitiveness left between our children, they are welcome to engage in a race to make us grandparents!
