First, let me say that I think of the whole concept of a Global Positioning System happens to be just this side of magical. I reserve the same kind of reverence for its
capabilities that my parents had for microwave ovens. So when I added integrated voice-activated
GPS navigation (via an expensive option) to my new car, I was prepared to enjoy
the full benefits of this awesome technology on a completely new level.
Second, I admit this was an uncharacteristic indulgence on
my part. I fell in love with GPS during
my working traveling days. Now, in my retired
drivespace, I usually know where I’m going 90% of the time; however, I reasoned
it would be very helpful on the occasional road trip where cellular service (another
miracle) might be spotty or non-existent . . . because, frankly, that’s the
kind of jaunt I like to take.
Shortly after getting the car, I was looking forward to show
off this new gadget while we were on our return from a trip to Fort Sill,
Oklahoma and transporting the proud parents of a nephew who had just graduated
from his training. Having also decided to
show off some Texas ribeyes at the renowned Sweetie Pies restaurant, I attempted
to speak the address (201 W Main Street, Decatur, Texas) to the car when we
were about 30 miles out.
It took a couple of tries to get it to recognize the
city. Then it asked for the street
name. Then the trouble started:
Me:
Main Street
Car: Cain Street?
Me:
No. Main Street
Car: Lane Street?
Me:
No. Main Street
Car: Frame Street?
Me:
No. Main Street
[… at least 5 more variations of this
followed]
Car: If you need help, say “help”
Me:
Help!
Car: Simply say a street name, like “Main Street”
Me: #@$$%^#&$!
Backseat: [uncontrolled laughter]
So much for showing off my expensive automotive option. Thankfully, the ribeyes were still
outstanding.
Recently we had an occasion to try the system again. We were wandering from Austin to San Antonio
and decided to detour to an old town established way back in 1847 and made “famous”
by the likes of Jerry Jeff Walker, Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson. Why use the GPS? Simply because most of the signs have been
stolen as souvenirs.
Me:
Luckenbach
Car: Lucas?
Me:
You’re the reason I won’t be talking to my microwave oven for quite
awhile.
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